Boy, this is something I used to struggle with and I still have to be aware of it from time to time, I would constantly put things off, saying I'd start next week, or let me just wait until this is done first...until I realized that it was because I was afraid that I wouldn't be perfect or the project I was working on wouldn't be perfect, so it was just easier to not start! Can you relate?
If any of the following sound familiar, you too could be on the quest for perfection.
What do all of the above have in common? These are all things that can lead to that horrible, uncomfortable feeling of being stuck. You know what I’m talking about, feeling like you’re just watching your life go by, but not participating. Where you logically know what you have to do, but can’t seem to get unstuck enough to put it into action.
You are not alone!!
I know for sure that over my life I’ve experienced this and so many of clients are feeling this way when we start to work together. I think typically as women, we put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything and be everything for everyone, but only if we do it with perfection does that make us good enough! For most of us, it starts in childhood, coming from expectations from our parents, family, and society and what's expected traditionally. But, I have to own up here, much of that feeling was also self-imposed. I wanted to make everyone happy, I wanted to make everyone like me and that meant being perfect!
Do any of these sound familiar?
“Why start? I know I won’t get everything done.”
“It’s a crazy week, next week will be better.”
“Whatever I do, it’s never good enough.”
“Guess I’ll try this diet, the others haven’t worked!”
“I know I need to eat better and exercise, but how? I have no time now!!”
What you may not realize is that often, these feelings are coming from us striving for perfection…So, where do we go from here? Firstly I want you all to understand that perfection just isn’t realistic…it’s such an unfair expectation to put upon ourselves or anyone else for that matter. We are all works in progress and need to practice compassion with ourselves as we’re on that journey.
I find that a great way to look at it is, to imagine what you’d say to a child who is coloring a picture, but isn’t able to keep within the lines…do you chastise them? NO, we don’t, most of us are going to turn around to that child and say “Hey, great job…you did your best and I love it!!”. Such a different conversation than the one that we typically have with ourselves in our head! Yet, we deserve the same compassion that we so easily give to others.
That being said, I’d like you all to start striving for PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION. Allow yourself time and space to learn new skills, because don’t forget it’s not fair to beat ourselves up for something we haven’t yet learned how to do.
I invite you to enjoy a NEW FREE MINI-COURSE,
Simply click here: HOW TO SPEAK LOVE TO YOUR INNER SELF
Changing the negative narrative inside your head...is the key to getting unstuck and letting go of that perfectionism that leaves you feeling like you're not good enough!