0426: I've tried everything...But I still don't feel like me again.

If you're reading this, I'm guessing you haven't been sitting back and doing nothing.

You've probably been doing quite a lot, actually.

Researching. Juicing. Trying the supplements someone recommended in a Facebook group. Going lower carb. Adding more walks. Avoiding sugar and alcohol. Buying grounding mats. Downloading the meditations you haven't quite gotten around to yet.

You've been trying. Really trying.

And yet here you are... still exhausted. Still foggy. Still wondering what on earth is wrong with you.

You haven't failed at the things you've tried.

The things you've tried just haven't reached the root yet.

I know this feeling from the inside

I've worked in health and wellness for over 22 years.

I was a personal trainer for a decade, before becoming a holistic health coach. I knew what good nutrition looked like, what a healthy lifestyle looked like. I knew...not all of it...but certainly a lot of it.

And after breast cancer...after the surgeries, the medication, the trying to get my life back...I still couldn't do it.

Not because I didn't know. But because knowing wasn't the problem.

I remember sitting there thinking: I'm a health coach. I'm doing everything right. So why does my body feel like it's still fighting something I can't see?

That's when I realized something that changed everything for me.

It was like trying to drive a car with my foot on the gas... but the parking brake was still on. (please tell me, I'm not the only one who's done that before lol)

But, no matter how hard I pushed, how many new things I tried, how determined I was to push through the way I always had ...I wasn't moving. Not really.

And the harder I pushed, the more exhausted I became. And the more exhausted I became, the more I thought: there must be something wrong with me. I even remember Googling it at 2am!

To be honest...I thought it was just me...I felt incredibly isolated, even though I was surrounded by people that loved me.

Here's what nobody tells you after treatment ends

When you ring the bell, or finish your last appointment, or hear the words "you're done" or "I'll see you in 3 months" ...there's this expectation.

You're supposed to feel it. The relief. The celebration. The clicking of heels, like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz...

What I felt instead... was completely lost. Extremely confused. Surrounded by people who loved me and wanted the best for me, and still feeling utterly alone.

I know now that 4 out of 5 of breast cancer survivors go on to experience PTSD symptoms.*

Being done with treatment does not mean your nervous system knows it's done.

Your body has been in survival mode...sometimes for years...and it doesn't just switch off because the treatment plan has ended.

So when you try all the things and they don't work, it's not because you're broken. It's not because you're weak. It's not because you just need to try harder.

 

It's because you've been trying to fix the symptoms. And the root is somewhere else entirely.

The thing that's actually keeping you stuck

I talk to women every week who are doing exactly what I did.

Googling supplements. Researching protocols. Asking in forums. Trying the thing that helped someone else. Giving it two weeks, feeling no different, and moving on to the next.

And underneath all of it...this quiet, exhausting shame.

You'd think cancer would be a motivator.

So what's wrong with me?

Here's what I want you to hear:

Nothing is wrong with you.

Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was built to do. It went into survival mode ...to protect you...and it hasn't yet received the signal that it's safe to come back out. It's still on high alert.

All the supplements in the world can't send that signal.

The green juice can't send that signal.

Pushing harder definitely can't send that signal.

The only thing that can reach the root is safety. And safety...for a nervous system that's been through what yours has been through...takes something different.

And then there's the spring thing

Can we talk about April for a moment?

Something happens this time of year. The days get longer. Everyone around you seems to be waking up, getting energized, making plans.

And if you're still tired, still running on empty, that contrast can feel devastating.

Like everyone got the memo that it's time to bloom, and yours got lost somewhere.

I want to say something to you gently but clearly:

 

You are allowed to still be in winter. Even when the world outside has decided it's spring.

Your healing doesn't have to match anyone else's timeline. Not the calendar's. Not your family's. Not the women in your support group who seem to be bouncing back faster.

Your body is on its own timeline. And it deserves to be respected for that.

So what does actually help?

When I stopped trying to push through and started asking a different question... not what else can I try? But what does my nervous system actually need? 

Things started to shift.

Not dramatically. Not overnight. But genuinely.

The parking brake started to ease. 

I could feel my body, slowly but surely, letting go...unwinding decades of hard seasons.

What helped wasn't adding more. It was letting go of things that weren't mine to carry.

It was learning that boundaries aren't about being difficult. They're about saying yes to your peace.

It was practicing the pause... that tiny moment before the automatic yes...where I could actually check in with myself and ask: is this what I have capacity for right now?

It was learning, slowly, that rest isn't a reward for getting everything done. It's part of the recovery itself.

You haven't failed. You haven't even reached the root yet.

If you're exhausted from trying, I want you to know: that exhaustion makes complete sense.

You've been working so hard in the wrong direction...not because you're doing it wrong, but because nobody gave you the map to the right one.

The root isn't in a supplement or a protocol or a new morning routine.

The root is your nervous system. And your nervous system needs one thing above all else.

Safety. Choice. Gentleness.

Not more effort. More permission.

Ready to stop trying to fix the symptoms and start working with your nervous system instead?

Start with the 7 Boundaries to Safeguard Your Energy Guide. It's a gentle, nervous-system-first framework for getting your energy back...without pushing harder.

Because you don't need to try more things. You need to reach the root.

→ Get your free 7 Boundaries to Safeguard Your Energy Guide here

 xoxo Karin ☕️

Karin Del Maestro  |  Thrivership School  |  Safety first. Choice always. Action later.

* Sources: https://www.breastcancer.org/research-news/many-women-have-ptsd-symptoms-after-dx