10 Key Components To Your Successful Resilient Routine

I'm so glad that you're here exploring the concept of Resilient Routines...because if you're struggled with adopting and sticking to ANY healthy habit in the past, be it healthy eating, moving your body, meditation, stress management, removing toxins from your home or any of the other modalities we look at using to get and stay  healthy, especially after a breast cancer diagnosis...then what's been missing from your healthy toolbox are Resilient Routines.

What Exactly is a Resilient Routine?

A Resilient Routine is the art of building habits that withstand the challenges of life, fatigue, stress, even chocolate cravings!

In other words...a Resilient Routine is what stops you from throwing in the towel and giving up on the promises you've made to yourself, when the 💩 hits the 🪭!

Can you imagine what it would feel like to not give up on yourself, not have to keep beating yourself up for feeling like a failure again? And no matter what, keep moving towards your health goals?

It is possible...dream it and believe it, my friend! AND...it's not as hard as you might think...

10 Key Components to Your Successful Resilient Routine

1. Setting Realistic Expectations: 

If you're anything like me, you felt a lot of pressure growing up to strive for excellence and always do your best? What followed foe me, was decades of putting so much pressure on myself, no matter what was going on in my life. And honestly, between you and me...it meant that no matter how hard I tried, I never felt like it was good enough!

Until, I learned to let go of that invisible pressure that I was putting on myself, and set more realistic expectations, depending on what I was going through at the time. 

An example of this might look like:

You're done with treatment for breast cancer, and you've been pushing yourself to "get back to normal" with the expectation (on yourself and from others!) that you just click your heels like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz and you're there! 

I wish that were true, but it isn't!

The truth is, you don't feel the same way you did before you received that diagnosis, right? You're more than likely, wiped out, achy, dealing with brain fog and hot flashes, anxious and emotional all the time! 

And so, is it really realistic to expect yourself to...

• Get to the gym 5 days a week for an hour each time?...NOPE!
• Tackle changing your entire eating habits and go vegetarian, when you love a good burger?...NOPE!
• Meditate every morning for 15 minutes, when you've never been a fan of meditation before?...NOPE!

Learning how to set realistic expectations, that meet you, your body and your bandwidth for where you are today is crucial to your Resilient Routine.

2. Having a Personalized Approach: 

Just like your treatment plan is tailored by your medical team exactly to your unique needs, you get to tailor your routine to your lifestyle, your preferences, and your energy levels. A Resilient Routine (unlike most programs and diets) recognizes that, just like clothing, and those denim jackets one size does not fit all!!

3. Adaptability and Flexibility: 

Life, as you well know, is dynamic, and we get to acknowledge the need for flexibility and adaptability in our routines and our habits, so that we don't feel overwhelmed and throw in the towel.

An example of this might look like:

You're done with treatment and are having a "good" week. You feel like you have more energy, your mood is a little lighter and you have that rare week without Doctor's appointments! 

And so, you set the goal of walking around the block for 30 minutes every morning. You'd been really active before your diagnosis, never sitting down until the end of the day, and so you're telling yourself that this should be easy!

You start out on Monday and it feels amazing to get outside and move, you're feeling so optimistic!

But then, you wake up on Tuesday and your whole body hurts from head to toe and as you lie in bed and notice the tears slipping down your cheek, because you realize that there's just no way that you can walk for 30 minutes feeling like this. So you lie there, wanting to go back to sleep but the voice in your head is beating you up...telling you that "you'll never get there if you don't push yourself", but you don't have an ounce of energy to spare!

With a rigid routine we do nothing! We give up on the promise that we've made to ourself.

With an adaptable, flexible, resilient routine we adapt to meet our body, mind and bandwidth where we are on any given day...

So instead of throwing in the towel (which makes us feel like crap!) and doing nothing, instead we adapt...which could look like any ONE of the following:

Lying in bed and doing some gentle stretching

Lying in bed, with some gentle music, tensing and releasing your muscles, letting them gently relax

While brushing your teeth, simply marching slowly in place

Now, before you start to think "but it's not enough, I'll never get back to normal by just doing that" I invite to ask yourself...who says? 

This thought that will soooo often keep us stuck in our lives is simply NOT TRUE. 

I mean, think about it...isn't it true that small steps are better than no steps? Give yourself the Grace and Space you need to recover and heal from the ordeal that you've been through...small steps when combined, lead to massive and sustainable results!

4. Consistent Communication:  

Learning to be mindful about how you communicate with others, and also yourself, if a huge part of your success in your recovery. Consider how confused you feel that you're not just bouncing back to "normal", others are just as confused.

So often you want people to read your mind and know exactly what you want or need, because you might feel like you're that person for others.

This, as you've likely discovered can lead to a lot of hurt and disappointment. People are not mind readers! And so, learning how to communicate what you're feeling and what you need means first practicing some self-reflection and figuring that out, in what can be a real mix of emotions. 

I believe that some, not all, of us are fortunate to have people in our lives who truly care and love us, who have stood by our side as we've gone through this journey, who WANT to be able to support us, but often don't know how. 

So, it's up to us to give them the chance to help. I used to have trouble asking for help, but nowadays, I think of it like this...it brings me so much joy to help someone out, and so by not letting others help me, I'm depriving them of that same joy...

So, if it would be helpful for someone to...

• Pick up groceries...ask
• Make a dinner...ask
• Help with the laundry...ask
• Get a ride to a Doctors appointment or scan, because you don't want to go alone...ask

It means nothing about you if you are asking for help...other than you are recovering and could use a loving, helping hand! Give someone the opportunity to help you, the way you help others, you might be surprised. And remember, if they don't show up for you...it's something to do with them...not you!

5. Seamless Integration into Your Existing Lifestyle:  

Over the past 20+ years, I've spoken to thousands of women, many of whom have expressed to me how overwhelmed they feel at the thought of having to change their entire lifestyle in order to "make a difference" in their health.

Let's add on to that existing overwhelm, the massive burden we feel after going through breast cancer to change our lifestyle and do everything we can to not get sick again. 

I hear ya!

But what if I told you that you don't have to change everything all at once? In fact, as a Health Coach, I NEVER recommend trying to do that...it's a guaranteed recipe for disappointment!

In fact, studies have shown over and over by habit, health and productivity experts across the world that small steps are what lead to SUSTAINABLE results...and I want those for you!

So, if you want to dissolve that overwhelmed feeling, start by adding just one new thing at a time (and knowing that one is enough!! lol)...and use an existing habit to cue you to do it...because we all need reminders, me included!

An example of this might look like:

Let's say that you want to drink more water, something most of us aren't doing enough of and could help improve sleep, less aches and pains, better focus, more energy, better skin, less bloating, better 💩, fewer hot flashes....that's a lot of reasons to be drinking more water, right?

• While your coffee is brewing in the morning....drink an 8oz glass of room temp water.
• When you check my emails...take sips of water.
• When you watch TV...take sips while the commercials are on.

Simple? YES! That's the point! Because adopting and sticking to healthy habits does not need to be hard...we've just chosen to make it much harder than it needs to be as a society. It's not just you...and please remember this, you simply haven't learned to set goals or habits any differently, yet!

In reality 85% of the population is asking themselves, and perhaps you're one of them, "why aren't I doing the things I know I should be doing?" LIKE drinking more water!!

Now, you might be thinking ok, what about eating better, moving your body and the other habits you want to adopt? I've got you covered, in Lesson 3 in Resilient Routines, I give you 30 examples of ways to seamlessly integrate the basic healthy habits into your existing day, without overwhelm!

6. Strategic Rest and Recovery: 

Incorporating planned rest and recovery periods within your routine is crucial, especially when you've been through something like breast cancer, but honestly, after any life challenge, a divorce, car accident, loss of a loved one, job change, house move...you get the feeling...we need time to rest and recover. BUT, we rarely give ourself that opportunity. More often than not we push ourselves, mentally and physically to just get on with it, get back to what we're used to doing, because we feel guilty if we don't... well, my friend, I can save you some major heartache and a lot of time and energy here...I've tried that, and it doesn't work!

Let me make something very clear for you...wrapped up in a hug and huge dose of love...

Self-Care might have been optional prior to your diagnosis or trauma, but if you want to stay or get healthy and live your life to the fullest, finding joy in every single day...then self-care needs to be your non-negotiable!

Self-Care to me is the conscious act YOU TAKE (not just think about!) , to promote your mental, physical and emotional health and wellbeing.

And in the 4th and final lesson in Resilient Routines, you'll learn how to overcome any guilt you're feeling and prioritize your well-being, even if you've never been able to before, so that you can nap guilt-free!

Woooosssaaaa (a huge exhale!) as my late brother used to say!

7. Community Support:

It's imperative that you get support during this time, especially from someone that understands this journey. Sometimes it can feel confusing and that you don't really know who to go to or what to look for. I've had many women say to me "that they were looking for help, but didn't really know what they were looking for, and then they found me and just knew in their heart, that it was the right fit."

Whether it's a support group, a therapist or coach, like me...especially when you're feeling alone and your Doctor is telling you "it's normal" to feel like this. We are rarely prepared for this next stage of recovery, I wasn't either and that's why I shifted my coaching practice to support you and women like you during this often confusing time.

Please know that you are never alone XOXO

Here are a few ways we can connect:

FREE: Monthly Virtual Support Group

FREE: 30-min virtual cup of tea and a chat with me BOOK YOUR SPOT ON MY SCHEDULE HERE

8. Positive Reinforcement:

In other words...happy dance!!! 💃 Studies have shown that positive reinforcement strategies, such as rewards or acknowledgments, to celebrate milestones not only boosts morale, but it help reinforce the habit-forming process. 

Instead of the lollipop (glass of wine, ice-cream, pizza etc) after the Doctors office for "being a good girl" that many of us learned and continue to practice growing up...I typically resist and advise against food rewards, because it's counterintuitive to what we are trying to learn...healthy habits.

Try instead:

My happy dance reward, bopping for just a few seconds or putting on your fave music and dance away to "Dancing Queen" from ABBA, and move like nobody is watching! Feel the smile, the joy spreading through your body!! So much better than the food reward that you then beat yourself up for having afterwards, right?

If dancing is not your thing...get creative, how could you celebrate every little step forward that would make your soul happy?

9. Continuous Improvement:

With Resilient Routines  they evolve over time, according to your needs, wants and dreams. You get to be in the driving seat in your life. Instead of feeling disgusted with yourself that you've started yet another diet and not been able to stick with it again!!  Imagine what it would feel like to keep taking care of yourself, even when life gets rough? It's possible and this is exactly how I've navigated the past 20+ years of my life and always will.

When you implement Resilient Routines correctly, you can expect...

• More energy!
• Less anxiety and fear!
• Less aches and pains!
• less brain fog!
• Fewer hot flashes!
• Less negative self-talk!
• Long lasting healthy habits that build a sustainable foundation upon which to build!
• And so much more!

10. Understanding Why a Resilient Routine Will Work For You:

I know you might be thinking, "why bother, nothing's worked before?" or seeing if you can muster up the courage and energy to try something ...again.

My friend, this is what I want you to know...

If you're reading this, chances are you're feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, exhausted and feeling the weight of needing to take better care of yourself so that you don't hear those spine-chilling words again. 

And so, you know in your heart that something has to change, you also know that what you've done in the past hasn't worked ( not because of you, but because diets just don't work!!). 

I remember when I first met my client Beth. After decades of trying to lose weight and actually keep it off, Beth was feeling hopeless. The pain I saw in her eyes, hurt my soul, and I said to Beth softly, "you haven't tried me yet!" as I reached for her hand.

That intimate moment, where we connected on such a deep level, happened almost 10 years ago, as I write this and Beth and I have been working together in varying ways, ever since. 

You see, Beth had always focused on food when she was trying to lose weight...and together, we shifted the focus to taking better care of herself (self-care, mind, body, soul). It was foreign for her at first, she'd never even thought about what she wanted or needed, her life was full of what she could do to take care of others.

Beth now rides the roller coaster of life, with her Resilient Routines, no longer beating herself up when life gets rough or unexpected health issues come up...but she NEVER gives up on herself and throws in the towel. Therefore, she never has the feeling of having to start from scratch again either! 

From feeling hopeless to utter self-confidence and trust in herself and her ability to maintain her healthy weight, and do the things she wants to do to stay healthy.

I get that change is scary...but so is the black cloud following you around!

If you've been wanting a plan to follow, that's easy and works when you're wiped out, stressed or dealing with chocolate cravings, then Resilient Routines is it and what I know to be true, for myself and my clients...is that when you take action to get healthier, then the fear starts to reduce. 

For me, you can't put a price on that feeling...

You've got this! And you've got me by your side xoxo Karin