6. GOALS - Part 2: Do you even know what you really want?

Jan 27, 2020

 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever thought if I just lose those 10 pounds, my life would be perfect and I would be happy? And yet you go on to lose the 10 pounds and realize that you're still not happy.

In today's episode, we're looking at getting honest with what you actually really want in your life.

We often put so much emphasis on our weight and how we look and think that when all of that is perfect then, we’ll be happy. This is such a common misconception in the world today and I can say honestly that I've even experienced it myself. I think back to when I was an athlete, when I was a personal trainer, when I was doing it biathlons and I had this slamming body. I was tight, I was toned, I was muscular, I was strong. And yet I was still extremely insecure and not at all confident in how I looked.

I was confident in other areas. I was confident in my ability as a personal trainer. I was confident in my knowledge and my expertise. But I wasn't confident in my own skin, maybe you can relate?

It was honestly after a bad car accident, leaving me with five herniated discs and being unable to work out anymore. It was throughout that post trauma time when I was in therapy and working with a life coach. It was during that process that I truly learned to love who I was, who I was in my skin, no matter the size.

What that accident did for me, made me dig deep. I could no longer run or bike or workout to alleviate my stress.

It made me have to explore other ways to bring joy into my life, to make me feel happy, to make me feel accomplished. And it’s that work that I do with my one on one client's diving deep into each area of their lives. And what I'm going to give you a brief overview of today, and I don't want you to worry about having to write it down or anything like that. I've actually made a cheat sheet for you, that you can download below…👇

It's doing this work and setting goals in each of these areas that will bring about true happiness!

Thinking about one thing at a time. And getting the clarity on it and really owning it and working on it, not just throwing something out there because it's what you've always done or what you think you should do or according to what your best friend has done on your sister, do what works for you.

Because nobody is you. Nobody's in your skin. Nobody's feeling what you're feeling. Nobody's living your life. You're the only one that has the power to make these changes. And it's with this change comes this epic sense of peace and calm that you cannot get to unless you start to change what you're doing and how you set your goals.

I cannot stress enough how huge this episode is, how excited I am, it's one of my absolute favorite things to do, my clients, because it's so revealing. And I really want you to embrace this episode. Listen to as many times as you want to. I'm still going to keep it short and sweet. I know you're busy. So that being said, let's just dive right in.

What I’d love for you to consider is…Are you happy in this area of your life? Would you like to see growth? Do you want something to change? Do you want something to be different?

Get real and honest with yourself. Listen to your gut.

 

Family and friends.

Are you happy in your relationships? These aren't just family. These aren't just friends. These can also be co-workers. Are you happy with the people that you're spending time with? Are you spending enough time with them? Do you want to spend more time with them? Do you want the time to be different? Are you finding that you're spending time with people who are at energy vampires and sucking you dry?

If that's the case, that is an area of your life that you need to be focusing on. That's why you need to be setting goals. That's why you need to be thinking about what do I want to change? How do I change this? It’s getting this clarity about knowing what you want and where you want to see change, that we so often completely skip when we're setting goals, we just look at the future. What do I want? But we're not looking at the starting point. So, it's like when you have when you're going on a cross-country road trip and you're putting the address into the G.P.S., you have to put your starting place. And that's all this is, this is just your starting place and without this, you cannot get to the end result because you can't plot your path, you can't plot your route without knowing where you’re starting. Doesn’t it makes sense when you think of it like that?

 

Career

Look at your career. Are you on a career path that you’re enjoying?

One of the key indicators is how do you feel on Sunday night? Are you dreading Monday morning? Dreading getting up and going to work because you can't stand it. You find that it sucks you dry. Maybe it's stressful,  it causes you anxiety, you don't sleep at night, especially Sunday night, thinking about Monday morning. These are real indicators that it’s not working for you.

So, it could be a career path as a whole. Or it could just be the environment in which you're in, either or. But your gut actually already knows the answer to that. So be honest with yourself and listen to it. I think so often we stop ourselves from doing that, because we're scared, we're scared of what we don't know. We might be scared because we don't know what we want to do. This is normal!

You don't have to have all the answers. But change is not going to happen until you know why you're unhappy. So, if that is the first step and that’s what you’re establishing right now, you don't need to be overwhelmed by looking at the whole picture because that will keep you stuck. That will keep you unhappy.

All you need to think about is if you feel like your career is in alignment with who you are. Do you have a purpose with your career and is it what you want it to be? If not, that's why you need to make change. That's all. 

Health

Do you wake up every morning energized and ready to go?

If so, it's maybe not an area that, you need to focus on because, you're probably already focusing on it. But if you're feeling sluggish and tired and unmotivated and every time you eat a meal, you're feeling bloated and you're saying, now I should go to the gym, but you just can't stand it. You’re not a fan of the environment or the people…just thinking about it stresses you out.Guess what? That's not the right place for you.

Find a different gym or maybe go for a walk outside, maybe that’s much more your speed. And that's OK. Think about what works for you when it comes to your health.

When I’m looking at health, it's about mind, body and spirit. So, are you stressed and anxious all the time? Are you eating foods that are fueling your body and not depleting you and or are they making you feel like crap all the time? Are you working on yourself care every day? And, you know, are you removing toxins from your environment?

There are so many different areas of health that we could certainly dive into. And that's my passion and that's what I do every day.

But ask yourself, do you feel like you're healthy? or do you feel like something needs to change?

Spirituality and Faith

I know that means something different to each of you and it doesn't necessarily mean are you religious? I am not religious per se, but I am very spiritual and I have a very deep, strong faith with everything that I have been through in my life. I know absolutely that there are greater powers and angels looking out for me. But spirituality and faith can also mean, do you have faith in yourself? Do you trust yourself? Do you feel at peace in the universe? Are you feeling connected to the universe? Do you feel connected to yourself?

Often the disconnect comes when we don't have that faith. And like I said, faith, religion, spirituality, they're all different things. But it's that connectivity to understanding that the universe is way bigger than just us. I think that really helps us find our joyful zone, our peaceful zone, our calm.

Achievement

Do you feel like you're achieving something? Do you feel like you have a purpose? Did you always want to learn how to play the guitar? For instance.

You know, there are things that, as I'm saying this, that are coming up for you  “oh, my gosh, yes, I've always wanted to do that”. I've always wanted to learn how to do photography.

Achievement doesn't necessarily mean how educated are you? Did you reach the top of the rung in your business yet still not feel fulfilled? There are different ways of achieving things and personal achievement, I think is often the most fulfilling and often that comes with having a purpose, but achievement can be looked at in so many different ways. But maybe there's something new that you would like to achieve that you would find inspiring and joyful.

Fun

Do you have fun in your life? Do you get to be playful? Do you want to be playful? Maybe you don't. And that's OK.

Think about what activities you consider to even be fun? Are you prioritizing them? Are those the things that you keep putting off as life gets in the way and stuff keeps coming up?

And you're regularly taking away time for these fulfilling activities?

Think about how are you prioritizing these things in your life?

 

Think about what you really want.

 

How to use your cheat sheet.

There's going to be space on there where you can actually rank each of these things from zero to 10, zero being the least fulfilled, 10 feeling the most fulfilled.

So that you have some idea, some an actual visual of where you feel that you are in these areas of your life. That's a starting point. That's a starting point for you to be able to turn around and say, wow, I had no idea. But yeah, I want to work on that. That would feel really good to me. So, you can see how getting this clarity about what you actually want becomes so helpful in setting your goals and then, of course, when we set goals that are really authentic to us, crushing them becomes so much easier because we actually want to. We're excited, too, rather than them bogging us down and making us just feel less than.

Discovering your goals is all about self-improvement, self-reflection, self-care. Figuring out who you are to the core. That's going to help you set and crush these goals.

Download your cheat sheet HERE

Show me or write me a note or let me know where you're at with all of this so that I can see that you are actually embracing a new way of doing goals. karin.bhwc@gmail.com

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