The 7 Cancer Personality Traits and How You Can Unlearn Them
You may not have realized that something like The Cancer Personality Profile even exists...but, I want to make something REALLY clear before you keep reading today...YOU DID NOT CAUSE YOUR CANCER DIAGNOSIS!!!
How can I say that? Because I know that you didn't choose to have these personality traits, most of them are simply how you learned to be you in your life today, with influences from your family, friends, culture, teachers, coaches and anyone that played a role in your childhood!
(If you think about your most recurring thought...it'll likely clue you in a bit here)
This will become even more obvious, when I share what the traits are, but first, I'd like to share how I became aware of this little talked about resource.
Well, like most of us, when we receive a cancer diagnosis...I wondered WHY?
You see, if we've just met, you likely don't know that I've always been focused on being healthy, in fact, I didn't even fit into my family because I thought so differently about taking care of my body by eating well, cleaning out a lot of toxins in my skin care and beauty products, being super active (I was even a personal trainer doing biathlons - 2 mile run, 30 mile bike, 2 mile run - in stunning Central Park in New York for about 10 years, from the age of 38-48), I was always quite the tomboy!
And after becoming an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach in 2013, prevention of serious disease became even more important to me, as well as sharing shortcuts for what I've learned through tedious research...with others, like you, so that you don't need to spend hours scouring the internet!
You can imagine that I was absolutely gobsmacked!
That is, until I learned these two things...
1. After genetic testing, I discovered that I carried the BRCA2 genetic mutation (although only my paternal grandmother had had breast cancer, between both parents there was a family history involving, bladder, prostate, stomach, liver, lung and skull cancers!!)
This told me, that I was pre-disposed (at a risk of 87%) to get breast cancer...I was in that 15% of the population with genetic risk factors...so this information shifted the question to WHY NOW...why now at 52 years old?
I found myself asking "what had happened in my life and what was different from usual?". As you ask yourself this same question...be kind to yourself, it's important to ask with curiosity vs judgment...and that's exactly what I did.
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When I received my initial diagnosis, my breast surgeon told me, in no uncertain terms "Karin, do NOT go on the internet and start looking up breast cancer. It will take you to all kinds of scary places that may or may not apply to you. Please wait until you have the facts about YOUR specific tumor"
This was so challenging for me...I research health issues for my clients for a living for crying out loud!!!
Many of my clients call me the missing piece of the puzzle for them, because I'm really good at researching!
BUT...because I've always been "the good girl, responsible, respectful, following the rules"...so, I did exactly what I was told. I have to admit, because I also knew that she was right, and I wanted to save my energy and brain power for the upcoming fight!
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2. This was when (yes, finally, after all of the horrific waiting, I got to put on my best Sherlock Holmes hat and run off down the Google rabbit hole!) I got to connect some VERY interesting dots.
In other words...A HUGE LIGHT BULB š” MOMENT both for me and my clients!!!
Because I discovered the incredible and life-changing work of Dr. W. Douglas Brodie, M.D.
After 30 years of working with cancer patients, Dr. W. Douglas Brodie, M.D., observed certain personality traits his patients had in common. Who knew??
Now, as you read over these traits below and ask yourself if any of them apply to you (you get to be honest with yourself here). Remember, if some of them resonate with you, that’s great...remember, it does not mean that you caused your cancer!!
Instead, I invite you to be grateful for discovering some of the emotional triggers that may have led you (and I) down this path, because, once we understand what led us to a place or a health challenge, the better equipped we are for a healthier future and lowering our risk of recurrence!
The Cancer Personality Traits, according to Dr. W. Douglas Brodie, M.D...
1. Being highly conscientious, caring, dutiful, responsible, hard-working, and usually of above average intelligence.
2. Exhibits a strong tendency toward carrying other people’s burdens and toward taking on extra obligations, and often “worrying for others.”
3. Having a deep-seated need to make others happy. Being a “people pleaser” with a great need for approval.
4. Often lacking closeness with one or both parents, which sometimes, later in life, results in lack of closeness with spouse or others who would normally be close.
5. Harbors long-suppressed toxic emotions, such as anger, resentment and / or hostility. The cancer-susceptible individual typically internalizes such emotions and has great difficulty expressing them.
6. Reacts adversely to stress, and often becomes unable to cope adequately with such stress. Usually experiences an especially damaging event about 2 years before the onset of detectable cancer. The patient is not able to cope with this traumatic event or series of events, which comes as a “last straw” on top of years of suppressed reactions to stress.
7. Has an inability to resolve deep-seated emotional problems/conflicts, usually beginning in childhood, often even being unaware of their presence. Typical of the cancer-susceptible personality, as noted above, is the long-standing tendency to suppress “toxic emotions”, particularly anger. Usually beginning in childhood, this individual has held in their hostility and other unacceptable emotions.
Now take a breath, I know it's a lot, give yourself a big hug (I'm sending you one too!) ... and please know that you did not cause your cancer!
And if you'll allow me, I can help you unlearn these traits exactly the same way that I have, so that you get to live your healthiest future possible.
Ready?
The Way I Unlearned The Cancer Personality Traits and You Can Too!
When I first read this list…it was like seeing my name in flashing neon lights!!!
Because at one point in my life, I checked off every single one of them!
Growing up, I followed the rules, was responsible, hard working, always looking for a glimmer of validation from my parents…it never came and I never felt good enough.
I spent decades compromising myself, trying to fit in, wanting everyone to like me, never saying no because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, apologizing when things weren’t even my fault…like a scene from Monty Python, where someone bumps into me and I’m the one to say sorry!
And I just sucked it all up, kept it bottled away inside…never expressing how I felt, no matter how resentful, angry, stressed out or exhausted I was…I just kept on pushing myself to be there for everyone else.
As you can see, all of these traits are on that cancer personality list and they might feel quite familiar to you too!
Now, before you go down your own Google rabbit hole, asking “does stress cause cancer?” allow me to save you some time, the answer you’ll find is NO. (Although I could argue that the effect that stress has on our body and how we cope with stress can certainly increase inflammation, and therefore our risk of cancer...a post for another day!)
Dr Brodie clearly states that it is the “straw that breaks the camel's back” or our inability to cope and the negative coping mechanisms we choose that gets us in trouble, and a cancer diagnosis can be as much as two years following these traumatic events.
So I reluctantly looked back at the previous 2 years…and I invite you to do the same and look back over the 2 years prior to your own diagnosis...
Just one week following our amazing Caribbean wedding in August 2016, I was diagnosed with Zika Virus, compromising my immune system, and shortly thereafter shingles…
6 months later, back to back emergency crises…Including sitting by my mum's bedside as she passed away, my brother almost died the day after her funeral, just 2 weeks later my hubby was badly injured in a serious motorcycle accident.
I won’t go into the moving pieces of each of those, but safe to say..it was a lot…and my ability to cope with this level of stress was definitely compromised.
I was 100% in survival mode. Perhaps you can relate?
It was like the check engine light on my car was on constantly. When that happens to my car, I take care of it ASAP…but somehow it wasn’t so easy to be able to take care of myself during this extraordinarily challenging time.
Getting diagnosed a year later with Breast Cancer & BRCA2 was a big aha for me, especially after discovering the work of Dr Brodie.
Careful not to blame or shame myself for anything I’d previously done (or not done!)…I became more aware and started focusing on taking even better care of myself, mind, body & spirit, this is what I call self-care and it might look a bit different than you might think…for me I now see clearly that it’s the conscious act you take, not just think about, to promote your own physical, emotional and mental health and wellbeing…
For me, self-care might look like :
- A mindful cup of tea
- Setting more realistic expectations of myself
- Getting outside in nature
- Saying no to something that drains me
- Talking to a therapist or a good non-judgmental friend
And because of this shift in my mindset, self-care started to impact every aspect of my life.
- I used to wonder “who am I” and feel drained trying to be who everyone else thought I should be …but by focusing on myself in a way I never had before, I now know exactly who I am at this stage of my life!
- I used to never speak up for myself but now I speak authentically, deeply connecting with loved ones, and new friends…finally feeling seen and heard.
- Instead of critiquing my body every time I looked in the mirror, practicing self-care has led to a much kinder and more compassionate relationship with my body, one of gratitude for what my body has carried me through…and for the first time in my life, I began loving the skin I was in, no matter my size or shape, breasts or flat.
- And I no longer stress about things I can’t control!
Self-Care has given me all this and so much more, but I want you to know that there’s nothing special about me…no S tattooed on my chest, nothing on my chest except footprints where my breasts once lay.
You can have those kind of results too.
I invite you to imagine your body as a teapot, yep in the Brit in me coming out…and your energy as the level of tea in that pot…now think about how many cups you pour into, all day long…and if you keep pouring without filling up your teapot, what happens?
You’re sucked dry, exhausted, resentful, bitter, angry…because there’s nothing left for you.
Take a second and count now, how many teacups do you pour into every day?
Work, church, friends, family, spouse, kids, grandkids, pets???
Did you include yourself in the people you take care of?
Self-care is how we top up our teapot!
How can you fill up yours?
What are those activities that you want to do but haven’t made the time for?
How many promises have you kept with others, but not yourself?
For some of you, I know this might sound selfish, I’ll admit it did to me too at first…but hear me out…
Let’s not forget Dr. Brodie. I do not believe for one second that it’s selfish to be mindful of something that could help lower our risk of breast cancer or its recurrence!
And If you could constantly top up your teapot and have more tea to pour…to share with people you love, friends, colleagues, even clients.
Is that selfish?
Self-Care doesn’t need to be time consuming or expensive either …especially in times of stress where we need to double down on taking care of ourselves, with adaptable and flexible routines…but after Dr. Brodie’s study you can bet it’s my daily non-negotiable now, more than ever before…
And you can start today with the simple act of asking yourself “what do I need today to top up my teapot?
And then listen carefully for the answer!”
Even if that answer is 3 months on a desert island, on my own with nobody else to worry about…because I know that’s what you’ve wanted in the past…but it’s not always practical, you can add moments throughout your day, inviting that feeling.
Sitting outside, closing your eyes, feeling the breeze, imagining the waves gently lapping against the shore…the sound of birds, a smile comes to your face and a few mindful breaths.
Self-Care and topping up your teapot (your energy) is the key to managing stress, staying healthy, and bringing more joy to your life…don’t wait, you’re worth it, start now.
And, I know you're over there thinking...but HOW, Karin?
I will never leave you hanging my friend...
BEFORE you tackle any other program, diet, or course, and go through that frustrating cycle of mustering up all of your courage and energy, going all in on the process, only to throw in the towel a few days in...because it feels too hard and you're so freakin' exhausted already!
Plus that voice is in the back of your head, saying "why bother, you've never been able to stick to anything in the past!"
I get it!! And for over 20+ years I've supported women to get off that disappointing cycle and start creating habits in a different way. And now, knowing what we do about the Cancer Personality Traits...there's even more reason to start adopting habits differently!
If you'd like to learn how I've helped breast cancer survivors to get their energy back, combat stress and start living a life not defined by a diagnosis, I'd like to invite you to my upcoming FREE CLASS: From Exhausted to Energized: 3 Keys to Boost Energy & Combat Stress
YOU CAN SAVE YOUR SEAT HERE and begin your transformation today!
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