925: Still Tired After Breast Cancer? Here’s Why...

You survived breast cancer. You made it through diagnosis, treatment, surgeries, and appointments you never imagined you’d face.

And now… you’re supposed to feel grateful, right?

But here’s what no one tells you: you can be grateful and still want more.

You can be thankful treatment is behind you… and still bone-tired in a way that no nap, no coffee, no pep talk seems to touch.

This isn’t ordinary tired. It’s the kind of exhaustion that seeps into your bones and makes you wonder: Is this my life from now on?

And it’s not just about being tired. It goes so much deeper...

It’s about fearing your partner will lose patience with you. Wondering if your career can survive your lack of stamina. Worrying you’re letting down your family because you don’t have the energy to be who you once were.

Here’s the thing: it’s not your fault.

Most of us were raised to ignore our needs. I still remember being told as a little girl:

 

“Karin, be a good girl and do as you’re told.”

Maybe you heard something similar...“Don’t make a fuss,” “Don’t be selfish,” or “Be nice.” Somewhere along the way, we learned that being “good” meant putting ourselves last.

So of course boundaries feel hard.

Of course you default to yes.

Of course you push through, even when your body is begging for rest.

Your doctors may reassure you that fatigue after treatment is “normal.” But what they’re not talking about is why that fatigue feels so relentless, or that there's something you can do about it...without doing more!

The truth?

It’s not that you don’t have energy. It’s that you might be running low, but then you’re leaking it.

What Survivorship Plans Miss

When treatment ends, survivorship plans usually focus on the basics:

• Your follow-up schedule with the oncologist.

• Medication protocols and side-effect management.

• Mammograms or scans to check for recurrence.

Important? Absolutely. But complete? Not even close.

"The medical system addresses the body, but it doesn’t equip you with the tools to feel safe and whole in your life again.”

What’s missing is support for the emotional, mental, and energetic toll of life after breast cancer.

No one hands you a roadmap for:

• How to handle the constant vigilance of “what if it comes back.”

• How to stop saying yes to everyone else while your body whispers no.

• How to rebuild trust in yourself when you feel like a stranger in your own skin.

• How to show up in relationships when you feel fragile inside.

• How to navigate work when you can’t keep up at the same pace.

• How to take care of your family when you can barely care for yourself.

I know this because I lived it.

After my mastectomy, and 6 other major surgeries...my doctors told me I was healing well.

On the outside, maybe. But on the inside? I was so drained I could barely recognize myself. I had been cleared to “go back to normal,” yet I didn’t have the energy to enjoy anything "normal". Let alone deal with the laundry, food shopping or loading and unloading the dishwasher!

That’s when I realized: the medical system can only take you so far.

It addresses the body, but it doesn’t equip you with the tools to feel safe and whole in your life again.

That part is up to us...and that's why I'm so glad that you're here.

Here's what I learned...it starts with understanding where your energy is leaking.

Energy Leaks 101: Why You’re Still So Tired

Think of yourself like a beautiful teapot. You’re designed to hold warmth and pour love into others. And your energy level, is the amount of tea in your teapot. But what happens if that teapot has tiny cracks?

Exactly the same as if you had a leaky bucket. 

No matter how much tea you pour in, (by eating right, moving your body...doing ALL the things) it drips out. Slowly. Constantly. Until one day, you’re trying to run on empty.

That’s exactly what energy leaks do. They drain you in ways you may not even realize, like:

• Saying yes when your heart is screaming no.

• Smiling on the outside while quietly aching inside.

• Carrying everyone else’s emotions on your shoulders.

• Staying up late Googling symptoms, feeding the fear.

• Pushing through chores when your body begs for rest.

• Taking on extra work projects to prove you’re still capable.

• Cooking dinner for the family every night even though your body is whispering “please stop.”

That stress, that constant worry, that 2 a.m. “what if” loop you replay in your head… those are energy leaks too.

 

"Where your mind goes, your energy flows.”

— Tony Robbins

If your thoughts are constantly scanning for danger, bracing for judgment, or replaying guilt, your energy is pouring out before you even get out of bed.

Here’s the key: you are not broken. You are not weak. You are leaking.

And the way we seal those cracks isn’t by trying harder or doing more. It’s by creating gentle, loving boundaries that safeguard your energy. I like to think of these as a tea cosy for ourselves. 

Boundaries = Welcome Mats for Your Peace (Not Walls)

Now, before you cringe at the word “boundaries,” let me clear something up.

Boundaries aren’t about being mean. They’re not about shutting people out. They’re not selfish.

Boundaries are like a welcome mat on your front porch. They let people know how to enter your space with respect. They protect the warmth inside your home.

Or, if you’re a tea drinker like me, think of a tea cosy...the soft knitted cover you slip over a teapot to keep the warmth inside. That’s what boundaries do: they preserve your energy, protecting your warmth so you can pour it when and where it really matters.

 

"Boundaries are sacred self-care, not walls,

but welcome mats for your peace."

And here’s why this matters even more: stress and nervous system overload don’t just drain your daily energy...they may also affect your long-term health.

Dr. W. Douglas Brodie’s research on the “cancer personality” highlighted how unresolved trauma, constant over-giving, and difficulty setting boundaries can contribute to a weakened immune system and even play a role in recurrence.

👉 (If you’d like to learn more about the cancer personality traits, I wrote a full blog on it here: Cancer Personality Traits Blog) 

Boundaries aren’t just about protecting your energy today, they’re a way of telling your body: You are safe now. They reduce stress, create calm, and support your body’s natural ability to repair and protect itself.

In other words, boundaries help you reclaim not only your energy, but also your future.

The 3 Most Powerful Boundaries to Safeguard Energy

I teach about many different kinds of boundaries inside Thrivership School and in my free cheat sheet, I'm sharing 7 Boundaries to Safeguard Your Energy.

But today, I want to share the 3 most powerful ones that can start making a difference right now.

1. Time Boundaries

The Leak: Saying yes to commitments when your body is begging for rest.

Fear Beneath It: “If I slow down, everything will fall apart...my work, my relationships, my family.”

Example: A friend invites you to “just pop by” after a long day, and you agree, even though you’re exhausted, because you know they're going through a rough patch. 

Reframe: Every yes to others is a no to yourself, unless you protect your time.

Plug: Create white space in your calendar. Try saying, “I’d love to, but I don’t have the energy this week. Can we find another time?”

“Every yes to others is a no to yourself, unless you protect your time.”

2. Emotional Boundaries

The Leak: Absorbing everyone else’s stress, worries, and drama.

Fear Beneath It: “I need to help wherever I can, even if that's just worrying for them...or they’ll think I don’t care.”

Example: A friend vents for an hour, and afterward you feel heavy, drained, and resentful.

Reframe: You can care deeply without carrying the weight. You’re responsible for your emotions...not everyone else’s.

Plug: Support without absorbing. "I love you and I want to listen, but I’m really tired right now. Can we talk tomorrow instead?"

“You can care deeply without carrying the weight.”

3. Physical Boundaries

The Leak: Ignoring your body’s signals and pushing past exhaustion.

Fear Beneath It: “If I rest, I’ll look weak, lazy, or like I’m not trying hard enough.”

Example: You force yourself to clean the house before guests arrive, then spend two days recovering in bed.

Reframe: Rest is not laziness, you don't need to earn it - it’s medicine.

Plug: Learn to honor “no” when your body whispers it. This might mean bowing out early, asking for help, or simply saying: “I need to rest right now.”

“Rest is not laziness~it’s medicine.”

💡 These are just 3 of the 7 boundaries that safeguard energy. The truth is, all 7 work together, because energy doesn’t just leak from one place. That’s why I created a simple one-page cheat sheet with all 7 boundaries and even scripts you can use right away.

👉 Download your free copy here:

7 Boundaries to Safeguard Your Energy

What Becomes Possible When You Plug the Leaks

Imagine waking up without that heavy cloud of fatigue.

Imagine having enough energy to say yes to the things you actually want—like playing with your grandkids, joining a walk with friends, or starting a new project you’ve been putting off.

Imagine feeling safe again in your body, knowing you’re not just surviving but slowly reclaiming your joy.

This isn’t just possible, it’s what I see happen every day inside Thrivership School.

Like Jeanne, who told me: “Joining Thrivership School saved my life. I finally feel worthy of taking up space. I can pause, breathe, and choose instead of react. And for the first time, I trust myself again.”

Or Lynn, who realized: “When I learned my core values and started setting boundaries with more confidence because I knew who I was, everything shifted. I have energy, and I finally feel joy again.”

 

"Plugging your energy leaks with boundaries doesn’t just restore your energy, it gives you back your life."

When your leaks are sealed, that constant stress and worry doesn’t run the show anymore.

Instead of your energy flowing toward fear, it can finally flow toward joy, connection, and living your life again.

Because where your mind goes, your energy flows. And with boundaries in place, you get to choose where it goes.

Final Thoughts + Your Next Step

You’re not broken, friend. You’re not failing. You’re just leaking.

And the good news? Those leaks can be sealed.

Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away, they’re about making space for you to thrive again.

So here’s what I want you to do:

1. Download your free one-page cheat sheet: 7 Boundaries to Safeguard Your Energy. 

2. If you’re ready to go deeper and start living fully again: Let's have a chat about joining us in Thrivership School, where we walk this journey together. 

Because life after breast cancer isn’t just about surviving. It’s about thriving. And that starts with protecting the most precious thing you have: your energy. 💗

As Taylor Swift put it recently: “You should think of your energy as if it’s expensive, as if it’s a luxury item.”