Do These 3 Things When You Don't Even Know Who You Are Anymore!

Hey there and welcome to Wellbeing Wednesdays, your journey to thriving.

I am so happy that you're here with me today.

Today, we're going to talk about three things you can do when you feel like you don't even know who you are anymore.

It's almost like we have to go on this journey to rediscover who we are after something like breast cancer, right?

Here's what you'll discover today:

• Whether cancer changes us,
• The impact of not knowing who you are on your daily life,
• And of course, because I never like to leave you hanging...three actionable steps to start rediscovering yourself today.

If we haven't yet met, I feel like we should do a little intro. Don't you think? My name is Karin Del Maestro. It's a pleasure to meet you, although virtually. I am your health coach, bounce-back expert, breast cancer, BRCA2, and breast implant illness thriver. I specialize in helping breast cancer survivors navigate the next stage of recovery after active treatment, which is life after breast cancer. I do this with a proven roadmap to help you feel safe and at home in your body and mind again, so you can thrive in your life, not just exist and barely survive.

Does Cancer Change Us?

I am so often asked, "Karin, does cancer change us?" Going through something like breast cancer can completely change our perspective on life. You might feel lost and disconnected from yourself. It could be a health challenge like breast cancer making you feel this way, but it can also be any major life event or trauma, such as divorce, a car accident, abuse, or the loss of a loved one.

Martha, one of our Thrivership School members, recently shared that she didn’t realize how much she had changed after breast cancer until she did one of our workshop modules. This is common, and if you want to live a life not defined by a diagnosis and find happiness again, then please hang out with me today because you're going to find this really, really interesting.

How Not Knowing Who You Are Impacts Your Day-to-Day Life

One of the most debilitating side effects of breast cancer treatment and trauma is bone-aching exhaustion. Being diagnosed with breast cancer is a trauma that changes our lives forever. But, it doesn’t have to be bad. It can be a catalyst for massive change and growth within yourself and how you show up for others.

When you don’t have a clear sense of who you are, every decision and interaction can feel like navigating a foggy path without a compass. You might end up living according to everyone else’s opinions, which can suck the energy out of you and prevent your growth and recovery. It's exhausting trying to fit into a mold that everyone else thinks you should fit into.

Lack of clarity on who you are can strain relationships, too. You might isolate yourself because you don't have the energy to explain how you feel. This is common, especially when others can't understand your needs or emotions post-cancer.

You might also have an identity crisis, looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person staring back at you. Who we are is more than our body. It's our core values and what's important to us. Confidence comes from within, and getting to know who you are today is crucial.

Three Things You Can Do to Start Rediscovering Yourself

1. Embrace Your Emotions

You can’t heal it till you feel it. Life after breast cancer is an emotional roller coaster. It's essential to acknowledge and accept your feelings. They're real and valid. Putting your hand on your heart and acknowledging your emotions is a simple but powerful step.

Expressing emotions can be done through journaling, meditation, or seeking support from those who understand, like in a group coaching program. In Thrivership School, we find a safe place to express feelings, and it’s a space where everyone gets it.

2. Reconnect with Your Passions and Values

Often, after breast cancer, we feel disconnected from our passions and purpose. Think about your pre-cancer interests, hobbies, and values. Reconnecting with these can bring joy and fulfillment. Focus on what you can do, unstead of what you can't right now, even if it's small steps.

One of our Thrivership School members, Lynn, found new purpose by volunteering for a meal delivery service for cancer patients. This was possible after she worked on herself first, ensuring she had the energy to help others.

3. Cultivate Self-Compassion and Acceptance

Accepting your body and its changes is vital. Show compassion to yourself and acknowledge the strength it takes to get through each day. This means listening to your body and giving it what it needs without judgment.

I recently went through hip replacement surgery and chose not to set a deadline for my recovery. Instead, I focused on giving my body the time it needed to heal. This approach felt kinder and more aligned with my needs.

Recognizing and accepting who you are today, post-cancer or post-trauma, is crucial for your overall well-being. By embracing your emotions, reconnecting with your passions, and cultivating self-compassion, you can start to rediscover yourself and build a fulfilling life.

Remember, there is always hope, and you're not alone on this journey. 

If you'd like to learn more about Thrivership School, my heart-centered group coaching program where you'll learn in your very first 90-min class WHO YOU ARE TODAY...then let's have a virtual cup of tea and a chat, simply CLICK HERE to save your spot on my calendar.